गुरुवार, 29 जनवरी 2009
Friends for ever
Give thousand chances to ur enemy to become ur friend, But don't give a single chance to ur friend to become ur enemy'
F - Few
R - Relations
I - In
E - Earth
N - Never
D - Die
F - Few
R - Relations
I - In
E - Earth
N - Never
D - Die
मंगलवार, 27 जनवरी 2009
सोमवार, 26 जनवरी 2009
गुरुवार, 22 जनवरी 2009
My article-published in Garhwal post on 1.1.09
NEW YEAR CELEBERATION—NOW & THEN
Today on the New Year eve I was trying to remember how we used to celebrate the day during our childhood? But I failed to recollect anything similar to the present manner of celebrations. So I asked my 4 siblings if they remembered what we used to do on this day almost four decades ago. We were all unanimous in our thoughts: that time there was no such thing as New Year's Eve. Back then, we used to celebrate only the first day of the new year and that too in a very non-glamorous manner.
I'm surprised to compare ceberations today to those of nearly forty years ago. Time has changed our lives and values. Back then, the 31st of December was like any other night of whole year. That time television was not introduced. Radio was the only source of entertainment for people. There were fixed times for programs that would interest children and ladies.
Imagine 5 teenagers of varying ages huddled in a quilt in a big room after dinner, eating peanuts and gajak, listening to Hawa Mahal and laughing together on funny dialogues. That was how our new year's eve would begin. 10 to 11pm was the time for Chayageet, which was a program of soft classics. The program would be the last broadcast for the day and we would sleep after that when the announcer said the same farewell line, "Kal subah 6 baje tak ke liye shubhratri
." Of course, chatting and playing antakshari was part of every night during the vacations but it never went beyond 11 pm.
So 31st of Dec. was not celebrated as the New Year's eve- at least not in our middle class society. It may have been an occasion to celebrate in the upper-middle class but since we were not part of it, I would not know.
The trend of giving greeting cards for New Year's was almost a duty then. But unlike today, back then we used to send greeting cards to all our relatives by post in the 1st week of Dec. because if we delayed it, there would be a "post jam" and our cards would not reach on time. Unlike today, we were not used to calling people over the telephone and wishing them on every occasion. To call someone outstation was virtually unheard of, since there was no STD. So, one had to book an STD call through the telephone exchange. Moreover, every house did not have a telephone back then. In this case we had the number of a neighbour of that relative. While booking the call at the telephone exchange, we had to mention the phone number and the PP (particular person) we wanted to speak to, and then the operator would call on it and ask the receiver to call our relative or friend. When the PP was online then the operator would handover the call to us.
One thing which I can distinctly remember that 1st Jan was the day to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody we met. Now, it doesn't seem that there is anything special in this. We do it today also but at that time it was an obsession with us. We would eagerly wait for people to walk past our house and we would animatedly run to wish them first. Back then, going to restaurants was a luxury and very rare. On the new year however, we would spend the whole day eating out in the marketplace- from kulfi to chaat to pakora. Dosa was rarely available in a few restaurants and Chinese food was unheard of. Today, I see people getting fed up of home-cooked food in a matter of days but back then we hardly ventured out and savoured every food made my our mother.
Jan.1 was always a busy day. There was an excitement in the atmosphere. We were in a mood to celebrate. It was never an official holiday at school but we were in a Christian boarding school so we had a long vacation. On 1st Jan, our mother would make desi ghee ka halwa .She would put them in two containers- one to distribute in the gurudwara and the other for the beggars sitting outside the gurudwara.
Today the concept is totally different. Parents plan the evening in their own style. They go out for dinner or to a club. Yet others prefer watching television with popcorn to going out. The children in the family make their own plans with their friends to celebrate the new year. They go for late night parties; they drink, dance on loud music, and have Mughlai, Chinese, Italian and Mexican food (made in Indian style). But I'm sure they do not enjoy like we did with our entire family, sitting together and eating hot carrot halwa. That was a different experience all together and something we looked forward to, maybe even more than the celebrations today.
Today on the New Year eve I was trying to remember how we used to celebrate the day during our childhood? But I failed to recollect anything similar to the present manner of celebrations. So I asked my 4 siblings if they remembered what we used to do on this day almost four decades ago. We were all unanimous in our thoughts: that time there was no such thing as New Year's Eve. Back then, we used to celebrate only the first day of the new year and that too in a very non-glamorous manner.
I'm surprised to compare ceberations today to those of nearly forty years ago. Time has changed our lives and values. Back then, the 31st of December was like any other night of whole year. That time television was not introduced. Radio was the only source of entertainment for people. There were fixed times for programs that would interest children and ladies.
Imagine 5 teenagers of varying ages huddled in a quilt in a big room after dinner, eating peanuts and gajak, listening to Hawa Mahal and laughing together on funny dialogues. That was how our new year's eve would begin. 10 to 11pm was the time for Chayageet, which was a program of soft classics. The program would be the last broadcast for the day and we would sleep after that when the announcer said the same farewell line, "Kal subah 6 baje tak ke liye shubhratri
." Of course, chatting and playing antakshari was part of every night during the vacations but it never went beyond 11 pm.
So 31st of Dec. was not celebrated as the New Year's eve- at least not in our middle class society. It may have been an occasion to celebrate in the upper-middle class but since we were not part of it, I would not know.
The trend of giving greeting cards for New Year's was almost a duty then. But unlike today, back then we used to send greeting cards to all our relatives by post in the 1st week of Dec. because if we delayed it, there would be a "post jam" and our cards would not reach on time. Unlike today, we were not used to calling people over the telephone and wishing them on every occasion. To call someone outstation was virtually unheard of, since there was no STD. So, one had to book an STD call through the telephone exchange. Moreover, every house did not have a telephone back then. In this case we had the number of a neighbour of that relative. While booking the call at the telephone exchange, we had to mention the phone number and the PP (particular person) we wanted to speak to, and then the operator would call on it and ask the receiver to call our relative or friend. When the PP was online then the operator would handover the call to us.
One thing which I can distinctly remember that 1st Jan was the day to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody we met. Now, it doesn't seem that there is anything special in this. We do it today also but at that time it was an obsession with us. We would eagerly wait for people to walk past our house and we would animatedly run to wish them first. Back then, going to restaurants was a luxury and very rare. On the new year however, we would spend the whole day eating out in the marketplace- from kulfi to chaat to pakora. Dosa was rarely available in a few restaurants and Chinese food was unheard of. Today, I see people getting fed up of home-cooked food in a matter of days but back then we hardly ventured out and savoured every food made my our mother.
Jan.1 was always a busy day. There was an excitement in the atmosphere. We were in a mood to celebrate. It was never an official holiday at school but we were in a Christian boarding school so we had a long vacation. On 1st Jan, our mother would make desi ghee ka halwa .She would put them in two containers- one to distribute in the gurudwara and the other for the beggars sitting outside the gurudwara.
Today the concept is totally different. Parents plan the evening in their own style. They go out for dinner or to a club. Yet others prefer watching television with popcorn to going out. The children in the family make their own plans with their friends to celebrate the new year. They go for late night parties; they drink, dance on loud music, and have Mughlai, Chinese, Italian and Mexican food (made in Indian style). But I'm sure they do not enjoy like we did with our entire family, sitting together and eating hot carrot halwa. That was a different experience all together and something we looked forward to, maybe even more than the celebrations today.
One more from today's TOI'S -The speaking tree
A letter from a father to his little son.
Dear Pranav, It's been 20 months since you set foot in the world. When I held you for the first time in my arms at the hospital, your tiny hands were twitching and your eyes were shut tight. Your clenched fist reminded me of a science lesson that said to get an idea about the size of your heart, you should clench your fist. I could imagine the little heart throbbing inside you. The eternal miracle of birth. When it was my turn to witness it, I cried. Before I married your mother, I used to debate one question endlessly with my friend. Which is, "Is it really worth bringing another life into this world?" Especially when terror has become an ugly leitmotif in the canvas of our lives? When I switched on the TV that Wednesday night, the question of whether I was right in bringing you into this world haunted me again. This is my attempt at an answer. Call it catharsis. I feel there are two ways to raise you. One is to wean you on cynicism. Where you'll erect a sky-high wall in your mind and live your life pouring scorn on everything you see. Which is one way of insulating yourself from fear... A kind of indifferent machismo. The other way is to prepare you to live in this world. I can't imagine the world for you, son. But i can certainly show you the way to live in an uncertain world. Make a pact with yourself. Understand the following early on. Life is precious. And equally fragile. So every day is a gift. Get up early once in a while just to watch the sun rise. Stare at it intently and burn it in your memory. Be aware of every passing second. Look around you. There's a thin stalk of plant finding its place under the sun in a crevice on the wall of our apartment. Appreciate mother's cooking. Praise it to heavens... Make it a habit to eat together as a family. No, make it a rule. Fall in love with books. Words will transport you to worlds far away. It will also keep you informed and prepared. Follow your heart. The mind can waver but the heart seldom does. Respect your conscience. It's like a post-it note from God. When you grow up, seek a job you love. As you enter the world of careers and cocktails, you'll get sucked into a vortex called rat race. Don't be overwhelmed. We're all human. But have the courage to step out of it. Nothing will be lost. Some illusions will shatter. Good riddance. Money. It's important. But it has its place. Don't make the mistake of putting it right on top. Find your love. Hold it dearly. Be a good husband. A patient father. Give your children space to make their mistakes. But hold them when they fall. Speak up when you have to. Like this occasion. Whether we like it or not, we're living in a democracy. Sure it has its pitfalls. But don't forget the positives too. The real fight in a democracy is between remembering and forgetting. Go and vote. It's your chance to give shape to the kind of society you want to live in. Be alert. But try not to live in a state of fear. It you were to get caught in a situation similar to what happened and should we lose you, then you will have left us with enough lovely memories for the remaining years. That will only happen if you start living every day like it is the last day of your life. Though it can never compensate your loss, at least we'll find strength in your love for life. Don't have regrets. They defeat the very purpose of life. Immersed as I am in work most of the time, this letter is also a wake-up call for me. Love, Dad
Dear Pranav, It's been 20 months since you set foot in the world. When I held you for the first time in my arms at the hospital, your tiny hands were twitching and your eyes were shut tight. Your clenched fist reminded me of a science lesson that said to get an idea about the size of your heart, you should clench your fist. I could imagine the little heart throbbing inside you. The eternal miracle of birth. When it was my turn to witness it, I cried. Before I married your mother, I used to debate one question endlessly with my friend. Which is, "Is it really worth bringing another life into this world?" Especially when terror has become an ugly leitmotif in the canvas of our lives? When I switched on the TV that Wednesday night, the question of whether I was right in bringing you into this world haunted me again. This is my attempt at an answer. Call it catharsis. I feel there are two ways to raise you. One is to wean you on cynicism. Where you'll erect a sky-high wall in your mind and live your life pouring scorn on everything you see. Which is one way of insulating yourself from fear... A kind of indifferent machismo. The other way is to prepare you to live in this world. I can't imagine the world for you, son. But i can certainly show you the way to live in an uncertain world. Make a pact with yourself. Understand the following early on. Life is precious. And equally fragile. So every day is a gift. Get up early once in a while just to watch the sun rise. Stare at it intently and burn it in your memory. Be aware of every passing second. Look around you. There's a thin stalk of plant finding its place under the sun in a crevice on the wall of our apartment. Appreciate mother's cooking. Praise it to heavens... Make it a habit to eat together as a family. No, make it a rule. Fall in love with books. Words will transport you to worlds far away. It will also keep you informed and prepared. Follow your heart. The mind can waver but the heart seldom does. Respect your conscience. It's like a post-it note from God. When you grow up, seek a job you love. As you enter the world of careers and cocktails, you'll get sucked into a vortex called rat race. Don't be overwhelmed. We're all human. But have the courage to step out of it. Nothing will be lost. Some illusions will shatter. Good riddance. Money. It's important. But it has its place. Don't make the mistake of putting it right on top. Find your love. Hold it dearly. Be a good husband. A patient father. Give your children space to make their mistakes. But hold them when they fall. Speak up when you have to. Like this occasion. Whether we like it or not, we're living in a democracy. Sure it has its pitfalls. But don't forget the positives too. The real fight in a democracy is between remembering and forgetting. Go and vote. It's your chance to give shape to the kind of society you want to live in. Be alert. But try not to live in a state of fear. It you were to get caught in a situation similar to what happened and should we lose you, then you will have left us with enough lovely memories for the remaining years. That will only happen if you start living every day like it is the last day of your life. Though it can never compensate your loss, at least we'll find strength in your love for life. Don't have regrets. They defeat the very purpose of life. Immersed as I am in work most of the time, this letter is also a wake-up call for me. Love, Dad
A gud one from TOI'S The speaking tree
How to fully enjoy what you acquire.
Human desires manifest as two powerful motivations in life: acquisition and enjoyment.
You want to acquire whatever you desire from the world. And after acquiring you love to enjoy what you have acquired. For instance, you build a house and enjoy living in it. You prepare a tennis court and enjoy playing the game. Propelled by these two motivations of acquisition and enjoyment every human being craves to acquire and enjoy more and more in the world. But no one has found true happiness in mere acquisition or enjoyment. Yet the chase never ends. People are ultimately exhausted with their futile efforts and become frustrated and unhappy. The mind has a tendency to acquire, yet it cannot qualify or quantify what it wants. Even in the present, when the mind acquires the object of its desire it forthwith pitches up something else. This thirst for acquisition continues. The wealthiest man in the world wants more wealth. The most powerful seeks more power. The most beautiful more beauty. All this despite knowing that on most accounts, the process of acquiring and enjoying these things only bring in their wake agitation and loss of peace of mind. The thirst can never be quenched by sheer acquisition of whatever the mind demands. Neither can the problem be solved by suppressing the desire for acquisition. However, there is no taboo to acquisition. You are advised only to control, to regulate the mind's indiscriminate craving for acquisition. The second motivation is the desire to enjoy what has been acquired. Here again, there is no objection to enjoyment. You are not to refrain from enjoying what the world offers you but to restrain, control your indulgence in them. You enjoy objects or beings only when you exercise voluntary regulation and moderation. Otherwise what you acquire loses its charm. You cannot enjoy it anymore. Unrestricted indulgence kills enjoyment. In truth there is no joy content in the objects and beings of the world. But an average person cannot be convinced of this. He equates enjoyment with the pleasure he gets eating ice cream or chocolate. How can he be convinced that this is not what joy is about? The truth remains that none can find enjoyment in the external world. The following example can perhaps help you examine the veracity of the statement. You sit outside in your garden on a full moon night. You 'enjoy' the beautiful moonlight. Just think. Does the moon actually produce light? Does it have light in it per se? No, not at all. Yet some believe that the light comes from the moon. Educated as you are, you know that there is no light in the moon. It only reflects the light of the sun. Whatever arguments you put forth, the ignoramuses can never accept that there is no light in the moon. They see the light coming from the moon. They experience it. They enjoy it. So it becomes impossible for them to convince that the moon has no light in it. Similarly, many lack the wisdom to accept the truth that there is no joy content in the world. Their argument is similar. They can perceive the joy in sense-objects. And argue that they gain enjoyment out of them. Hence they can never accept there is no joy in the external world. You may likewise hold on to your views but just ponder over the moonlight example.
Human desires manifest as two powerful motivations in life: acquisition and enjoyment.
You want to acquire whatever you desire from the world. And after acquiring you love to enjoy what you have acquired. For instance, you build a house and enjoy living in it. You prepare a tennis court and enjoy playing the game. Propelled by these two motivations of acquisition and enjoyment every human being craves to acquire and enjoy more and more in the world. But no one has found true happiness in mere acquisition or enjoyment. Yet the chase never ends. People are ultimately exhausted with their futile efforts and become frustrated and unhappy. The mind has a tendency to acquire, yet it cannot qualify or quantify what it wants. Even in the present, when the mind acquires the object of its desire it forthwith pitches up something else. This thirst for acquisition continues. The wealthiest man in the world wants more wealth. The most powerful seeks more power. The most beautiful more beauty. All this despite knowing that on most accounts, the process of acquiring and enjoying these things only bring in their wake agitation and loss of peace of mind. The thirst can never be quenched by sheer acquisition of whatever the mind demands. Neither can the problem be solved by suppressing the desire for acquisition. However, there is no taboo to acquisition. You are advised only to control, to regulate the mind's indiscriminate craving for acquisition. The second motivation is the desire to enjoy what has been acquired. Here again, there is no objection to enjoyment. You are not to refrain from enjoying what the world offers you but to restrain, control your indulgence in them. You enjoy objects or beings only when you exercise voluntary regulation and moderation. Otherwise what you acquire loses its charm. You cannot enjoy it anymore. Unrestricted indulgence kills enjoyment. In truth there is no joy content in the objects and beings of the world. But an average person cannot be convinced of this. He equates enjoyment with the pleasure he gets eating ice cream or chocolate. How can he be convinced that this is not what joy is about? The truth remains that none can find enjoyment in the external world. The following example can perhaps help you examine the veracity of the statement. You sit outside in your garden on a full moon night. You 'enjoy' the beautiful moonlight. Just think. Does the moon actually produce light? Does it have light in it per se? No, not at all. Yet some believe that the light comes from the moon. Educated as you are, you know that there is no light in the moon. It only reflects the light of the sun. Whatever arguments you put forth, the ignoramuses can never accept that there is no light in the moon. They see the light coming from the moon. They experience it. They enjoy it. So it becomes impossible for them to convince that the moon has no light in it. Similarly, many lack the wisdom to accept the truth that there is no joy content in the world. Their argument is similar. They can perceive the joy in sense-objects. And argue that they gain enjoyment out of them. Hence they can never accept there is no joy in the external world. You may likewise hold on to your views but just ponder over the moonlight example.
शनिवार, 3 जनवरी 2009
published just after diwali
Left alone again?
Cheering call for sad mothers
Hello friends. I am sure all of you enjoyed Deepawali, the golden period of the year. I call it that since children come home for a small vacation to celebrate the festival. Life becomes cheerful and suddenly very busy. But then children have to go back and now you would again be feeling lonely. The same, old routine would have started. Your husband would be busy with his job and you, I am sure would be missing the presence of people around you.
When the kids leave after short visits, the vacuum you felt the first time they left comes back in your life. But don’t worry; you just need some time to go back to your life.
This week’s contributor is Mrs. KV and I bet you will be motivated by her. At the age of 60 she lives all alone in her house. Her husband passed away years ago, leaving her with responsibilities of getting her children married. She not only got her daughter and son married but helped them in raising their kids since all of them were working. But even when she had the option to live with her children, she preferred not to. Her son and daughter are both settled abroad and she is very attached to them and their spouses. She visits them once a year for a few months and then returns to back to India to live by herself. When she is there, she enjoys with family but when she wants some change in her life and time for herself, she comes back here.
Her children also come to visit, though once in a couple of years. But for the remaining time that she spends alone, she keeps herself very busy from 4o’clock in the morning till 9-10 in the evening. Her day starts from a long walk to a temple, which is a good 3-4 kms. away from her house. Besides praying there, she also does some sewa like sweeping the floor etc. So healthcare and praying are done at the same time.
KV has her own social circle. A few are from the temple and keertan mandli, some are her relatives and yet others are her children’s friends. The list is very long, yet she socializes with everyone. She not only visits them but calls them to her place and cooks for them according to their choice. She is always there to help everyone. Her phone is always busy because everyone seeks her suggestion, not because she is highly educated but because she has kept abreast with time and is widely respected for that. On one hand she is the member of a ladies club and on the other, she never misses any occasion or ceremony in the nearby temple. Thus she has made many friends. You can say that though she lives alone, she is surrounded by her well wishers.
Now should not we appreciate her for being busy, cheerful and a socially active person? She could have been sucked into the dull and lonely life after her kids left but her lifestyle is an example for us. She motivates us to enjoy life as it comes.
The situation in everybody’s life is different, so is the lifestyle. Please share your lifestyle after the age of fifty with us by emailing your stories to smallthingsgp@gmail.com
Cheering call for sad mothers
Hello friends. I am sure all of you enjoyed Deepawali, the golden period of the year. I call it that since children come home for a small vacation to celebrate the festival. Life becomes cheerful and suddenly very busy. But then children have to go back and now you would again be feeling lonely. The same, old routine would have started. Your husband would be busy with his job and you, I am sure would be missing the presence of people around you.
When the kids leave after short visits, the vacuum you felt the first time they left comes back in your life. But don’t worry; you just need some time to go back to your life.
This week’s contributor is Mrs. KV and I bet you will be motivated by her. At the age of 60 she lives all alone in her house. Her husband passed away years ago, leaving her with responsibilities of getting her children married. She not only got her daughter and son married but helped them in raising their kids since all of them were working. But even when she had the option to live with her children, she preferred not to. Her son and daughter are both settled abroad and she is very attached to them and their spouses. She visits them once a year for a few months and then returns to back to India to live by herself. When she is there, she enjoys with family but when she wants some change in her life and time for herself, she comes back here.
Her children also come to visit, though once in a couple of years. But for the remaining time that she spends alone, she keeps herself very busy from 4o’clock in the morning till 9-10 in the evening. Her day starts from a long walk to a temple, which is a good 3-4 kms. away from her house. Besides praying there, she also does some sewa like sweeping the floor etc. So healthcare and praying are done at the same time.
KV has her own social circle. A few are from the temple and keertan mandli, some are her relatives and yet others are her children’s friends. The list is very long, yet she socializes with everyone. She not only visits them but calls them to her place and cooks for them according to their choice. She is always there to help everyone. Her phone is always busy because everyone seeks her suggestion, not because she is highly educated but because she has kept abreast with time and is widely respected for that. On one hand she is the member of a ladies club and on the other, she never misses any occasion or ceremony in the nearby temple. Thus she has made many friends. You can say that though she lives alone, she is surrounded by her well wishers.
Now should not we appreciate her for being busy, cheerful and a socially active person? She could have been sucked into the dull and lonely life after her kids left but her lifestyle is an example for us. She motivates us to enjoy life as it comes.
The situation in everybody’s life is different, so is the lifestyle. Please share your lifestyle after the age of fifty with us by emailing your stories to smallthingsgp@gmail.com
An article from my series-life after50 published in garhwal post
UTILIZE YOUR TALENT: Senior Entrepreneurs
There are incidents of women getting into depression when they find themselves lonely after their children leave home to settle in their careers and lives. This series is intended to motivate them to enjoy and live life to the fullest.
In the past weeks you would have read about women who live extremely well in their “empty nest” stage. They spend 25-30 years of their lives in the responsibility of their family members and after the children are settled elsewhere, they are now spending all time on themselves or with their husbands, taking up hobbies and things they enjoy.
This week also you are going to know about a good way to keep SAHMs(stay at home mom)busy and active .Lets utilize our talent and share our way of life through smallthingsgp@gmail.com
Remembering Mrs. Asha Dhingra brings a smile to a foody like me. In face, as I think about Mrs. Dhingra, I can almost feel the taste of delicious foods prepared by her. Her cooking talent was legendary. In my previous colony, we ladies would meet at any one’s place just to chit chat. Whenever there was an evening meet at Mrs. Dhingra’s place, we would look forward to scrumptious dishes and she always surpassed all expectations. Asha loved cooking and found pleasure in serving delicious food. The attendance was 100% when there was a kitty party, birthdays= celebration, wedding anniversary or the weekly kirtan because of the amazing high tea.
Asha’s children who are now grown up and working, remember that they never got to eat their own tiffin at school, because their friends would eat it all up even before lunch break!
Now when Asha is relatively free from her household duties, she has plenty of time in her hands. She is utilizing this time and her talent to run her own little business from home. Not only does she run cooking classes but also delivers tiffins on prior booking to young people who come to town to study or work.
Asha laughs about being the “oldest entrepreneur” and starting work at the age of retirement. She says she gets to do the one thing she loves. It keeps her busy and active and gives her confidence in herself.
There are incidents of women getting into depression when they find themselves lonely after their children leave home to settle in their careers and lives. This series is intended to motivate them to enjoy and live life to the fullest.
In the past weeks you would have read about women who live extremely well in their “empty nest” stage. They spend 25-30 years of their lives in the responsibility of their family members and after the children are settled elsewhere, they are now spending all time on themselves or with their husbands, taking up hobbies and things they enjoy.
This week also you are going to know about a good way to keep SAHMs(stay at home mom)busy and active .Lets utilize our talent and share our way of life through smallthingsgp@gmail.com
Remembering Mrs. Asha Dhingra brings a smile to a foody like me. In face, as I think about Mrs. Dhingra, I can almost feel the taste of delicious foods prepared by her. Her cooking talent was legendary. In my previous colony, we ladies would meet at any one’s place just to chit chat. Whenever there was an evening meet at Mrs. Dhingra’s place, we would look forward to scrumptious dishes and she always surpassed all expectations. Asha loved cooking and found pleasure in serving delicious food. The attendance was 100% when there was a kitty party, birthdays= celebration, wedding anniversary or the weekly kirtan because of the amazing high tea.
Asha’s children who are now grown up and working, remember that they never got to eat their own tiffin at school, because their friends would eat it all up even before lunch break!
Now when Asha is relatively free from her household duties, she has plenty of time in her hands. She is utilizing this time and her talent to run her own little business from home. Not only does she run cooking classes but also delivers tiffins on prior booking to young people who come to town to study or work.
Asha laughs about being the “oldest entrepreneur” and starting work at the age of retirement. She says she gets to do the one thing she loves. It keeps her busy and active and gives her confidence in herself.
An article from my series-LIFE AFTER 50-published in garhwal post
LIFE AFTER 50
Surf the net and see the world.
Every week, in this column you read about the lifestyles of SAHMs (stay at home moms) who are above the age of 50. I hope that all of you who are in this stage of life are being motivated through these examples. As always, you are welcome to share your lifestyle with us and the other readers. Our e-mail address is smallthingsgp@gmail.com
I received a very interesting email from Mrs. Anju Sinha who talked about her love for gadgets. She says, “Anything you do should be exciting for you… for me, learning something new gives me that excitement.”
Talking about her life, she says, “After graduation I got married and raised my kids to the best of my abilities. But somewhere in my mind I always knew that my world has been centred on household work only. So when my kids were old enough to study on their own, I got some spare time for myself. I would watch my children working on computer and slowly developed an interest in it. So during this precious “my-time”, I started sitting in front of computer and experimenting a little from what I had seen my kids do. They were also very sweet and taught me so much about computers and the internet that I am always happily busy with this magic box.”
“Until the children were at home, there was always pressing household duties and very little time. Now, when the kids have left home and are busy with their lives, I have plenty of time to devote to computers. What I learnt from them about computers has given me so much to do that I don’t feel bored living alone. I’m in touch with all my relatives and friends through the internet. It saves me money too, which I would have otherwise been wasting on telephone bills!” Mrs. Sinha talked passionately about how much one can learn and all the interesting things one can do.
“There is so much to do on the computer and the internet. For example, I found out that I can transfer pictures and songs from the computer to the mobile phone and vice-versa so I then got a multimedia mobile phone for myself! I transfer things from my mobile to the computer. I enjoy scanning the old photographes and converting them into CD’s. I download my favourite music from the internet, and burn them on blank disks. Moreover, I have joined social networking sites and through them, I interact with all my relatives and learn about everything of my interest through relevant communities. Best of all, I’m always with my kids through emailing and chatting!”
Mrs. Sinha says that one does not have to be highly qualified to learn about computers and other gadgets. She also adds that if you have a thirst to know the world or want to keep up with time, there nothing is like computers to help you do that!
As she says, “So keep an eye on whole world through these windows!”
Surf the net and see the world.
Every week, in this column you read about the lifestyles of SAHMs (stay at home moms) who are above the age of 50. I hope that all of you who are in this stage of life are being motivated through these examples. As always, you are welcome to share your lifestyle with us and the other readers. Our e-mail address is smallthingsgp@gmail.com
I received a very interesting email from Mrs. Anju Sinha who talked about her love for gadgets. She says, “Anything you do should be exciting for you… for me, learning something new gives me that excitement.”
Talking about her life, she says, “After graduation I got married and raised my kids to the best of my abilities. But somewhere in my mind I always knew that my world has been centred on household work only. So when my kids were old enough to study on their own, I got some spare time for myself. I would watch my children working on computer and slowly developed an interest in it. So during this precious “my-time”, I started sitting in front of computer and experimenting a little from what I had seen my kids do. They were also very sweet and taught me so much about computers and the internet that I am always happily busy with this magic box.”
“Until the children were at home, there was always pressing household duties and very little time. Now, when the kids have left home and are busy with their lives, I have plenty of time to devote to computers. What I learnt from them about computers has given me so much to do that I don’t feel bored living alone. I’m in touch with all my relatives and friends through the internet. It saves me money too, which I would have otherwise been wasting on telephone bills!” Mrs. Sinha talked passionately about how much one can learn and all the interesting things one can do.
“There is so much to do on the computer and the internet. For example, I found out that I can transfer pictures and songs from the computer to the mobile phone and vice-versa so I then got a multimedia mobile phone for myself! I transfer things from my mobile to the computer. I enjoy scanning the old photographes and converting them into CD’s. I download my favourite music from the internet, and burn them on blank disks. Moreover, I have joined social networking sites and through them, I interact with all my relatives and learn about everything of my interest through relevant communities. Best of all, I’m always with my kids through emailing and chatting!”
Mrs. Sinha says that one does not have to be highly qualified to learn about computers and other gadgets. She also adds that if you have a thirst to know the world or want to keep up with time, there nothing is like computers to help you do that!
As she says, “So keep an eye on whole world through these windows!”
Mrs.khurana-a good librarian
LIFE AFTER 50
Presenting good examples to keep SAHMs (stay at home moms) busy when they are above 50 .Till now they did not have time for themselves.but now when children are settled away thay have plenty of it. Lets follow the examples and do something productive instead of gossiping or watching saas bahu serials. I'm sure this will be more interesting .
This week our motivator is Mrs. Khurana. Without a degree in library science , she is a good librarian.
Mrs. Khurana used to buy books instead of chocolates for her 3 children and this way, inculcated a passion for reading among them. They were all voracious readers as teenagers and spent all the pocket money and the money they got on birthdays or from relatives on books. Mrs. Khurana recalls with a smile how her children would animatedly discuss their collection with one-another and read every volume at least thrice. There were sentiments and fond memories attached with the numerous volumes her kids left behind when they went off to college and later settled in other places for work, and so Mrs. Khurana could not bring herself to get rid of them. The vast collection ranged from picture books, alphabets and number books, nursery rhymes, story books for all ages, puzzles and games, encyclopedias, classics, novels of authors like Jeffery Archer, John Grisham, Agatha Christie and many others.
Mrs. Khurana then decided to do something useful with her prized possessions, which were gathering dust in the store- she decided to start a reading club for the children of her colony. She set about arranging the books according to their readers' age.
With the help of her neighbors and women from the colony, she is running a very popular library and reading club. Children have to pay a small amount of money, which Mrs. Khurana uses to buy more books. She has strict rules for the young members of her library- they must return books on time and must take care not to write in them or spoil them. If a book is torn, the child responsible for it must tape it together or have it bound. People also donate books to the library, and there are quite a few volumes that the retired members of the colony borrow and read.
Mrs. Khurana is doing a wonderful job that keeps her both busy and happy. It is not necessary that you have to be highly educated, have professional degrees or fluency in English to have a great job!
If you have any idea to keep SAHMs busy do mail them to smallthingsgp@gmail.com
Presenting good examples to keep SAHMs (stay at home moms) busy when they are above 50 .Till now they did not have time for themselves.but now when children are settled away thay have plenty of it. Lets follow the examples and do something productive instead of gossiping or watching saas bahu serials. I'm sure this will be more interesting .
This week our motivator is Mrs. Khurana. Without a degree in library science , she is a good librarian.
Mrs. Khurana used to buy books instead of chocolates for her 3 children and this way, inculcated a passion for reading among them. They were all voracious readers as teenagers and spent all the pocket money and the money they got on birthdays or from relatives on books. Mrs. Khurana recalls with a smile how her children would animatedly discuss their collection with one-another and read every volume at least thrice. There were sentiments and fond memories attached with the numerous volumes her kids left behind when they went off to college and later settled in other places for work, and so Mrs. Khurana could not bring herself to get rid of them. The vast collection ranged from picture books, alphabets and number books, nursery rhymes, story books for all ages, puzzles and games, encyclopedias, classics, novels of authors like Jeffery Archer, John Grisham, Agatha Christie and many others.
Mrs. Khurana then decided to do something useful with her prized possessions, which were gathering dust in the store- she decided to start a reading club for the children of her colony. She set about arranging the books according to their readers' age.
With the help of her neighbors and women from the colony, she is running a very popular library and reading club. Children have to pay a small amount of money, which Mrs. Khurana uses to buy more books. She has strict rules for the young members of her library- they must return books on time and must take care not to write in them or spoil them. If a book is torn, the child responsible for it must tape it together or have it bound. People also donate books to the library, and there are quite a few volumes that the retired members of the colony borrow and read.
Mrs. Khurana is doing a wonderful job that keeps her both busy and happy. It is not necessary that you have to be highly educated, have professional degrees or fluency in English to have a great job!
If you have any idea to keep SAHMs busy do mail them to smallthingsgp@gmail.com
mrs.verma's prepares us.
Life after 50
Small things for SAHM (stay at home moms.)
In this column, you will read about the lifestyle of those women whose children are away from them for studies or job. and they are left alone .while some are enjoying ,some are depressed.dont know how to cope up with lonliness.So lets take a step to fill a new energy in them , give them a new enthusiasm.Remember life only ends when we stop breathing.Enjoy life till you breath.Waiting to know your lifestyle at 50.plz do send your views to smallthingsgp@gmail.com.
This week Mrs. Verma is sharing her experiences with us.
SHE SAYS:
While my children at school, my life revolved around them. I had to take care of their studies, their food, their playtime, naptime and also their demands. Whatever little time i had left from the daily duties were mostly spent entertaining guests so that I had no time for myself. In this hectic routine, a constant interruption was my neighbour, Mrs. Jain, whose children were settled abroad. She would drop in at any odd time with words like: “Kafi dino se aap dikhi nahi, socha mil aaon”; or “Aapko to milne ka mann nahi karta ya aapko to fursat nahi, hai socha mil aaon”.
I would welcome her with a faint smile but in reality, I would despair to see her. I would pray fervently that she would leave in 10-15 minutes but that rarely happened. She would linger on for hours at an end until and I admit with some regret, that whenever I saw her at my gate, I murmured things like “God, she is back again.”
One day I realized that there would be a time when my kids would leave to start their own lives and I would be just as alone as Mrs. Jain was, then. As unimaginable as it seemed then, I knew I would have a lot of free time for myself. Then I promised myself that I would not be like my poor old neighbour. Since then, I started planning for this phase of my life and I’m happy that now, when my kids are away, I’m too busy to yearn for them or visit any unwilling young mother!
I would like to share things that we may do to make our lives fulfilling and happy after 50.
Start taking care of your health. It is common knowledge that diseases like osteoporosis and arthritis are very common among older women. We spend our lives pampering our children, husband and other family members so it is our duty to pamper our body and take care of it.
This is the time for pursuing your hobbies and all those lists that you made of things you would do when you found that elusive time. From the common interests of music, books and movies to the most unimaginable (or imaginative, as you may see it) interest- go for it.
Age is no bar for learning anything. Dust your knowledge of a craft/skill you may already know, for there are bound to be advancements and changes in the same.
Keep in touch with your children and their friends you may know. It will be easy to adapt to the life style of the young and to understand their point of view.
Always learn new from your children. Don’t hesitate because they have lived in an environment entirely different from yours, when you were a child. They find it easier to break the redundant chains of certain, obstructive lifestyles that we, older people tend to follow.
Small things for SAHM (stay at home moms.)
In this column, you will read about the lifestyle of those women whose children are away from them for studies or job. and they are left alone .while some are enjoying ,some are depressed.dont know how to cope up with lonliness.So lets take a step to fill a new energy in them , give them a new enthusiasm.Remember life only ends when we stop breathing.Enjoy life till you breath.Waiting to know your lifestyle at 50.plz do send your views to smallthingsgp@gmail.com.
This week Mrs. Verma is sharing her experiences with us.
SHE SAYS:
While my children at school, my life revolved around them. I had to take care of their studies, their food, their playtime, naptime and also their demands. Whatever little time i had left from the daily duties were mostly spent entertaining guests so that I had no time for myself. In this hectic routine, a constant interruption was my neighbour, Mrs. Jain, whose children were settled abroad. She would drop in at any odd time with words like: “Kafi dino se aap dikhi nahi, socha mil aaon”; or “Aapko to milne ka mann nahi karta ya aapko to fursat nahi, hai socha mil aaon”.
I would welcome her with a faint smile but in reality, I would despair to see her. I would pray fervently that she would leave in 10-15 minutes but that rarely happened. She would linger on for hours at an end until and I admit with some regret, that whenever I saw her at my gate, I murmured things like “God, she is back again.”
One day I realized that there would be a time when my kids would leave to start their own lives and I would be just as alone as Mrs. Jain was, then. As unimaginable as it seemed then, I knew I would have a lot of free time for myself. Then I promised myself that I would not be like my poor old neighbour. Since then, I started planning for this phase of my life and I’m happy that now, when my kids are away, I’m too busy to yearn for them or visit any unwilling young mother!
I would like to share things that we may do to make our lives fulfilling and happy after 50.
Start taking care of your health. It is common knowledge that diseases like osteoporosis and arthritis are very common among older women. We spend our lives pampering our children, husband and other family members so it is our duty to pamper our body and take care of it.
This is the time for pursuing your hobbies and all those lists that you made of things you would do when you found that elusive time. From the common interests of music, books and movies to the most unimaginable (or imaginative, as you may see it) interest- go for it.
Age is no bar for learning anything. Dust your knowledge of a craft/skill you may already know, for there are bound to be advancements and changes in the same.
Keep in touch with your children and their friends you may know. It will be easy to adapt to the life style of the young and to understand their point of view.
Always learn new from your children. Don’t hesitate because they have lived in an environment entirely different from yours, when you were a child. They find it easier to break the redundant chains of certain, obstructive lifestyles that we, older people tend to follow.
SMALL THINGS-A series of my article on-
LIFE AFTER 50
It is the colum for those women whose children are out for studies or job and they are left alone .while some are enjoying ,some are depressed.dont know how to cope up with lonliness. So lets take a step to fill a new energy in them , give them a new enthusiasm.Remember life only ends when we stop breathing.Enjoy life till you breath.Waiting to know your lifestyle at 50.plz do send your views to smallthingsgp@gmail.com.
LIFE AFTER 50
It is the colum for those women whose children are out for studies or job and they are left alone .while some are enjoying ,some are depressed.dont know how to cope up with lonliness. So lets take a step to fill a new energy in them , give them a new enthusiasm.Remember life only ends when we stop breathing.Enjoy life till you breath.Waiting to know your lifestyle at 50.plz do send your views to smallthingsgp@gmail.com.
New Year Celeberation-Now & Then
Today on the New Year eve I was trying to remember how we used to celebrate the day during our childhood? But I failed to recollect anything similar to the present manner of celebrations. So I asked my 4 siblings if they remembered what we used to do on this day almost four decades ago. We were all unanimous in our thoughts: that time there was no such thing as New Year's Eve. Back then, we used to celebrate only the first day of the new year and that too in a very non-glamorous manner.
I'm surprised to compare ceberations today to those of nearly forty years ago. Time has changed our lives and values. Back then, the 31st of December was like any other night of whole year. That time television was not introduced. Radio was the only source of entertainment for people. There were fixed times for programs that would interest children and ladies.
Imagine 5 teenagers of varying ages huddled in a quilt in a big room after dinner, eating peanuts and gajak, listening to Hawa Mahal and laughing together on funny dialogues. That was how our new year's eve would begin. 10 to 11pm was the time for Chayageet, which was a program of soft classics. The program would be the last broadcast for the day and we would sleep after that when the announcer said the same farewell line, "Kal subah 6 baje tak ke liye shubhratri." Of course, chatting and playing antakshari was part of every night during the vacations but it never went beyond 11 pm.
So 31st of Dec. was not celebrated as the New Year's eve- at least not in our middle class society. It may have been an occasion to celebrate in the upper-middle class but since we were not part of it, I would not know.
The trend of giving greeting cards for New Year's was almost a duty then. But unlike today, back then we used to send greeting cards to all our relatives by post in the 1st week of Dec. because if we delayed it, there would be a "post jam" and our cards would not reach on time. Unlike today, we were not used to calling people over the telephone and wishing them on every occasion. To call someone outstation was virtually unheard of, since there was no STD. So, one had to book an STD call through the telephone exchange. Moreover, every house did not have a telephone back then. In this case we had the number of a neighbour of that relative. While booking the call at the telephone exchange, we had to mention the phone number and the PP (particular person) we wanted to speak to, and then the operator would call on it and ask the receiver to call our relative or friend. When the PP was online then the operator would handover the call to us.
One thing which I can distinctly remember that 1st Jan was the day to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody we met. Now, it doesn't seem that there is anything special in this. We do it today also but at that time it was an obsession with us. We would eagerly wait for people to walk past our house and we would animatedly run to wish them first. Back then, going to restaurants was a luxury and very rare. On the new year however, we would spend the whole day eating out in the marketplace- from kulfi to chaat to pakora. Dosa was rarely available in a few restaurants and Chinese food was unheard of. Today, I see people getting fed up of home-cooked food in a matter of days but back then we hardly ventured out and savoured every food made my our mother.
Jan.1 was always a busy day. There was an excitement in the atmosphere. We were in a mood to celebrate. It was never an official holiday at school but we were in a Christian boarding school so we had a long vacation. On 1st Jan, our mother would make desi ghee ka halwa .She would put them in two containers- one to distribute in the gurudwara and the other for the beggars sitting outside the gurudwara.
Today the concept is totally different. Parents plan the evening in their own style. They go out for dinner or to a club. Yet others prefer watching television with popcorn to going out. The children in the family make their own plans with their friends to celebrate the new year. They go for late night parties; they drink, dance on loud music, and have Mughlai, Chinese, Italian and Mexican food (made in Indian style). But I'm sure they do not enjoy like we did with our entire family, sitting together and eating hot carrot halwa. That was a different experience all together and something we looked forward to, maybe even more than the celebrations today.
I'm surprised to compare ceberations today to those of nearly forty years ago. Time has changed our lives and values. Back then, the 31st of December was like any other night of whole year. That time television was not introduced. Radio was the only source of entertainment for people. There were fixed times for programs that would interest children and ladies.
Imagine 5 teenagers of varying ages huddled in a quilt in a big room after dinner, eating peanuts and gajak, listening to Hawa Mahal and laughing together on funny dialogues. That was how our new year's eve would begin. 10 to 11pm was the time for Chayageet, which was a program of soft classics. The program would be the last broadcast for the day and we would sleep after that when the announcer said the same farewell line, "Kal subah 6 baje tak ke liye shubhratri." Of course, chatting and playing antakshari was part of every night during the vacations but it never went beyond 11 pm.
So 31st of Dec. was not celebrated as the New Year's eve- at least not in our middle class society. It may have been an occasion to celebrate in the upper-middle class but since we were not part of it, I would not know.
The trend of giving greeting cards for New Year's was almost a duty then. But unlike today, back then we used to send greeting cards to all our relatives by post in the 1st week of Dec. because if we delayed it, there would be a "post jam" and our cards would not reach on time. Unlike today, we were not used to calling people over the telephone and wishing them on every occasion. To call someone outstation was virtually unheard of, since there was no STD. So, one had to book an STD call through the telephone exchange. Moreover, every house did not have a telephone back then. In this case we had the number of a neighbour of that relative. While booking the call at the telephone exchange, we had to mention the phone number and the PP (particular person) we wanted to speak to, and then the operator would call on it and ask the receiver to call our relative or friend. When the PP was online then the operator would handover the call to us.
One thing which I can distinctly remember that 1st Jan was the day to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody we met. Now, it doesn't seem that there is anything special in this. We do it today also but at that time it was an obsession with us. We would eagerly wait for people to walk past our house and we would animatedly run to wish them first. Back then, going to restaurants was a luxury and very rare. On the new year however, we would spend the whole day eating out in the marketplace- from kulfi to chaat to pakora. Dosa was rarely available in a few restaurants and Chinese food was unheard of. Today, I see people getting fed up of home-cooked food in a matter of days but back then we hardly ventured out and savoured every food made my our mother.
Jan.1 was always a busy day. There was an excitement in the atmosphere. We were in a mood to celebrate. It was never an official holiday at school but we were in a Christian boarding school so we had a long vacation. On 1st Jan, our mother would make desi ghee ka halwa .She would put them in two containers- one to distribute in the gurudwara and the other for the beggars sitting outside the gurudwara.
Today the concept is totally different. Parents plan the evening in their own style. They go out for dinner or to a club. Yet others prefer watching television with popcorn to going out. The children in the family make their own plans with their friends to celebrate the new year. They go for late night parties; they drink, dance on loud music, and have Mughlai, Chinese, Italian and Mexican food (made in Indian style). But I'm sure they do not enjoy like we did with our entire family, sitting together and eating hot carrot halwa. That was a different experience all together and something we looked forward to, maybe even more than the celebrations today.
सदस्यता लें
संदेश (Atom)
